WooHoo!!

December Snow Day #2!!! And they told me it never snowed in Wake Forest... ;)

Wordless Wednesday

Serendipity

To make Saturday (aka Snow Day) even BETTER, a group of us went out to have steaks for dinner and then we went ice skating. As soon as Roomie and I heard that there would be an outdoor rink in downtown Raleigh, we had day dreamed about going. Saturday was also the tree lighting downtown and luckily, the guys were up for participating in the holiday cheer. Here are some pics from our magical evening on ice! (*sorry for the quality. My camera decided to be a jerk so these were taken on Kacie's phone)

Me, Scott, and Evan

Me and Kacie's obligatory roomie shot. Cute, cute!

 Kacie's fave pic of Scott and I

 And here's one of me and Scott skating :)

High-five, Raleigh, for being awesome in the wintertime!

First Snow of the Holiday Season!

It started to snow at about 3:00 this afternoon. It came down lightly at first, but it's pouring now! 

Amanda's picking out a flake to try and catch on her tongue

Scott enjoying his first NC snowfall. He was trying to be "manly" in this pic HAHA (*edit: We had both been jumping and frolicking minutes before this pic. Appropriate for me, not so much for him.)

And here's some of the other boys from our building. 

All of these pics are from the very first part of the snowfall. I ran inside to get some warmer clothes and left my camera on the couch. I'll post more pics later--EVERYTHING is white, just an hour later! This Georgia Peach is happy today!!

I'm a Terrible Blogger!

I apologize for being so slack, lately. Thanksgiving, a ruptured eardrum, and getting ready for finals'll do that to a girl.


In other news, I made a gingerbread house!

Here is a front view

And a rear/side view

Making this was quite an adventure. I thought, "How hard can it be to make gingerbread?" (for the record: it's not hard to make gingerbread. What IS hard is making sure that the pieces you cut do not shrink...aka...making sure they still all fit together after baking). Whatevsies. I'm resourceful. I re-cut the baked pieces and made two bowls of royal icing and got to work. I made my two main "levels" of the house, and when I stacked them...the whole thing collapsed and wound up in the trash. C'est la vie. 


Next year, illusive homemade gingerbread house. Next. Year. As for now, this beaut' from a kit will be my submission into the SEBTS Gingerbread-House-for-Rent-Credit-Competition. If you're a student housing rez here at the seminary, GO VOTE FOR MEEEE!

I Choose Life.

I have a friend who sends me Bible verses every day via text message. Today’s was Romans 8:28 “...all things work together for the good of those who love God.” Seeing as today is TWLOHA Day, I thought the verse was pretty fitting (to learn more about the TWLOHA movement, go here: http://www.twloha.com/vision/ ) As I wrote “Love” on my own arm today, I began to think, to remember, and to question.

I don’t even know where to start this story; Not because I’m afraid of it, but because I know I’m writing it with the intent to make it public. And it’s not that it’s a secret--my family knows, my close friends know, my Souled Out family knows. But why is it that sexual abuse and the other issues related to TWLOHA are so stigmatized in church-culture? We can talk about things like overcoming addiction or coming out of a gang or a myriad of other “bad” things, but issues like rape, depression, self-injury, etc seem so shrouded in shame, guilt, and darkness. I am living proof that God does make all things new, and things that are scary and unknown to us don’t trip Him up. Redemption and restoration are beautiful qualities of my Savior and today, I choose to celebrate life; I choose to celebrate King Jesus!

I don’t remember much. It was a whirl-wind of things that shocked me, things that repulsed me, and things I was either scared to remember or desperate to forget. I remember that it happened, and then somewhere in the mix, I lost a week of my life, and then I remember laying on the floor of the dorm building hall and crying as a dear friend shook with anger and said the words I wouldn’t admit to myself; “Bekah! You were raped! You need to get help!” Even though I knew he was correct, I still couldn’t admit it; I couldn’t even say “the R word”. No way. Not to me. I was a “good girl”. I was a Christian. I was a Sunday School teacher.

I was naive. 

When I finally left my apartment for the first time in...days..I found a quiet spot on a park bench and called my church. I finally admitted, out loud, to myself and to someone I trusted what happened. And he blamed be for it. He told me that I must have done something wrong to deserve it. If only I had been walking right with the Lord, He would have protected me...

That was the last time for two years that I talked about what happened. I felt so guilty.

That was the last time for two years that I stepped foot in a church. I felt so unworthy.

It wasn’t hatred or resentment toward anyone or anything. I just felt so lost, empty, and confused. The worst part of it all was that I WAS a Christian! A follower of Jesus! Saved by His blood and grace! But because the world turned its back on me (or because I shut it out altogether), I assumed for a while that God had done the same...especially since that minister had told me so. The hardest part of it all was knowing that those thoughts about God weren’t true. I knew God well enough (and I knew His promises and His Word well enough) to know that He had never left or forsaken me. The problem was me; It was in my own mind. Satan fed me so many lies. He made me feel SO filthy. I literally avoided reflective surfaces for months because every time I saw myself I thought “Not a virgin! Dirty! Damaged goods! No man will ever marry you!” Today, I realized that at that time in my life, “purity” was both an idol AND something I tried to attain on my own (Salvation and sanctification...purity...holiness...they’re all the Lord’s! Unattainable by any means other than Him!). The whole time, I KNEW that the ONLY answer was Jesus. Forgiveness was only His to give. Furthermore, I believed that that work had been completed on the cross, but I was certain that somehow, this was unforgivable. I remember trying desperately to pray; For a long time, I couldn’t. I would get by myself and try, but was so overwhelmed with (guilt/sorrow/unworthiness) LIES that I couldn’t speak. And, as more time passed, the guiltier I felt because now, not only was I trying to deal with this issue, but I knew that I had been refusing Jesus’ intervention in my life! It was all Satan trying to keep God’s girl away from the feet of her Father. 

Over the next two years, things changed. I moved, I had a new major, I was functioning (as much as I could apart from Christ...not that He ever left me, but I was still just carrying Him without relating to Him). Life moved on and, without really dealing with things, I did too.

Traci Quintard, you will never know how instrumental you were in my recovery. You were “something new” to me. And your love for the Lord and for His people was beautifully refreshing. You invited me to church and, for the first time in years, I went. It was at Wynnbrook that I gave up the struggle, stopped resisting God, and allowed Him to pick me up, dust me off, make me new, and (get this!!!) take the grossest part of my life and USE IT FOR HIS GLORY!!!! It was through Wynnbrook that I got hooked up with Jonathan and Lisa and the Souled Out ministry and it has especially been through Souled Out that I have taken off the “victim” hat and put on the “victor” hat. God has given sweet victory (because, after all, HE IS VICTORIOUS OVER SATAN!). I can forgive because He forgave me (long before I was even born!). 

Forgiving myself (for not resting in Jesus, among other things), forgiving that minister, and forgiving the rapist has only come because Christ set the ultimate example of forgiveness on the cross. For He, who knew no sin, became sin for US so that WE may become His righteousness! Forgiveness is incredibly freeing. Forgiveness is no longer hiding (from anyone and anything regarding this), forgiveness is letting go of lies and guilt (and for calling the enemy out on his games!), and forgiveness isn’t forgetting...but it’s allowing the memories and the event to glorify the King. Forgiveness is holding teen girls in the middle of the night behind the worship center and HONESTLY telling them that it WILL get better because God has a plan. Forgiveness is holding a girl’s hand as she calls her mom and explains what happened to her. Forgiveness is being honest with my own family, telling this story without fear, and proclaiming the might and wonder of the ALMIGHTY LORD AND SAVIOR, KING JESUS! Holy, holy, holy is He! And most worthy to be praised! He works out EVERYTHING for the good of those who love Him. He sets the captives free. And what Satan meant for harm, He means for glory. 

Those in Christ have VICTORY. They have freedom. And we, as the Body, have the sweet opportunity to minister to the needy and broken and to brag on our Heavenly Father, and to love others to the cross and to watch as their captive hearts are set free.

Brokenness manifests in a myriad of ways, to the believer and the non-believer alike. To stigmatize certain aspects of brokenness and need is to deny the work, life, and ministry/love/commands of Christ, and to shun those who need the miracle of the cross.(from TWLOHA): “You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live...You need to know that your story is important and part of a bigger story...You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, and that God is still in the business of redemption...we are more loved than we’ll ever know.”

La La Looo!

Um...I want to remember this website FOREVER and ever and ever!!

sweet glory in Heaven above this is amazing!!

Wordless Wednesday

Think Pink

In honor of October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I thought I'd make a blog of some of the pink things I use every day. Save the tatas! And in the meantime, enjoy these pics!

1) My pink tumbler. I am constantly drinking water and I like it best at room temperature and out of one of these cups!

2) Sexy Little Things "Noir" body lotion from Victoria's Secret. My fave. All day, everyday.

 3) My school bag. Big enough for my MacBook, Bible, books, pens, protein bar, grapes, and bottled water. And cute, too!

 4) Pink Post-its to cover our peep hole which allows people to see into our apartment as well as it allows us to see out of it. Creepy!

5) Pink devo journal/book and pen. Everyday @ 6:30am...

 6) Enrique's home :)

 7) My awesome wine bottle lamp from my college roomie, Sarah, and the glass from my Bestie, Casey, that holds all of my bobbi pins and hairflowers.

 8) My pink towels and bathrobe.

 9) All of my pink shower products--shampoo and conditioner, Blushing Cherry Blossom and Sweet Pea from Bath & Body Works, my razor, and my pouf.

10) Some makeup.

 11) My iTouch.

 12) The monogram on my rear window.

 13) And finally, showing some Phi Mu and CSU pride (pardon the dead bugs).

"How Tue"sday - Yummy Mummies

Here is a step-by-step guide for making Yummy Mummies; Pigs in a blanket with a Halloween twist!

Here are the ingredients you need: lil weenies, a can of biscuits, and some cheese and mustard (not pictured).

Cut each biscuit into four pieces and roll those pieces out into long, thin tubes. These tubes will become the mummy's rags.

Next, wrap the weenies. Since the meat was a little slippery, I folded the dough up over the base of the weenie before I wrapped the "rags" to give the "rags" something to stick to (this was in efforts to keep the mummy from slipping out of it's rags).

Spray a baking sheet with non-stick spray and line up your mummies to be baked (I alternated them to allow room for the dough to expand). When all of your mummies have been wrapped, pop them into the oven (preheated to 400). They will bake for a total of 13 minutes.

After 9 minutes, take the mummies out of the oven and sprinkle cheese over their "rags". I used an Italian blend of shredded cheese, but any white cheese will do. The idea is to give the rags a more stringy and browned effect. Put the mummies back into the oven for the remaining 4 minutes.

DO NOT get crazy like I did. With about a minute left, I peeked into the oven and noticed that the cheese wasn't browning like I wanted it to, so I turned the oven to "broil" and in only 50 SECONDS, I totally cremated my poor little mummies!!! Martha Stewart FAIL!

Since I was making these for a party and since I had already told the host that I was bringing a snack (and since I was supposed to be at the party in 15 minutes), I panicked. Then, I decided to pop the weenies out of their rags (since only the cheese and the top of the dough--and not the actual meat--got burned). I put the weenies back on the tray, re-sprinkled them with cheese, baked them (back on 400) for 5 minutes, and viola!! Naked-Low-Carb-Mummies!!!

Add mustard eyeballs for effect, and serve!

Dangerous...

My heart is full of sunshine and endorphins. That is all :)

Being Single In the Ministry

Let me just tell you. It's stinkin' hard.

I remember when I made it to the final round of interviewing at the church. I was sitting at a conference table with six (maybe more) people being asked all sorts of questions and the pastor asked me something about how I was going to balance the church with my personal life. He then told me that there would be people who would see me as a single woman and expect much, much more of me and my "loads" of free time. However, having my time taken advantage of has not been an issue at all since I've been at the church (most people are quick to offer the "you have friends and school" excuse before I even think it). No, the hardest part of being single in the ministry is....

being single.

And boy, do people like to point it out. I didn't go to a dinner event at church once and a member asked me the next Sunday where I was and I explained that it was a "couples thing" and "since I'm not part of a couple..." and she said "Why not? It can't be THAT hard to find someone!"

Thanks for that.

And we recently had a family camping trip (and, aside from the fact that I don't camp...) not only do I not own camping supplies, but I don't have the family, either. Again, I was asked why I didn't go... It just makes me feel weird. I know I'm part of the "church family" and I never sit by myself for too long before someone invites me to join, but I always feel like a leach or a party crasher.

Maybe I'm just homesick.

Or maybe I haven't gotten past the idol of marriage and a family.

Even today, a seminary student came by the church to interview the staff members for a paper he was writing and he asked me how I balanced my church responsibilities with my own relationship and children. I (perkily) said "Oh! I'm single." and he gave me the awkward "oh..." and stared at the floor before he apologized to me.

Now, I know what y'all outside of the ministry staff and/or seminary culture may be thinking..."25 is still way young, you have your whole life ahead of you"...but inside the ministry staff/seminary culture, I might as well be a spinster..my eggs have probably expired by now, anyway.

I just wanted to put it out there...it's hard walking in these shoes. Just please let me hold your babies a little while longer. And, for the love of Pete, stop telling me that "One day, when you least expect it..." because if that's the case, he'll never get here; I'm always wishing for Prince Charming to be serving the Lord right next to me.

Updates?! Not so much..

It was a dark and stormy night in the smallish town of Wake Forest. It was just after midnight and the only sounds that could be heard were the rain spattering against the window, the leaves rustling  in the wind, and the whistle of the train in the distance. Most of the other seminarians were tucked snuggly into their beds as Bekah sat in fear. In the corner of her dark living room, she hovered in the soft glow of her Macbook and desperately tried to deny the inevitable. However, the calendar doesn't lie. It is time for her to face the truth and to realize that it, yes, IT, is here. IT is the Attack of the Syllabi! 2 exams in 2 weeks? Eh. Not so bad. 2 papers due in those same 2 weeks? A little tough, but not miserable. 1,394 pages to be read during said 2 weeks? Death! Murderous, heinous, unavoidable death!!!!! 

So, blogspot, I bid you adieu...until mid-October, that is. If you see me on here, slap me back into reality. I can run, I can hide, but I cannot avoid the Attack of the Syllabi.

Song of the Day (9/21/2010) * Rufus Wainwright- Hallelujah

Modish Monday #1

In efforts to blog more, I've decided to do theme days. Because I like alliteration, from now on we will be celebrating Modish Mondays and I'll be showing all the stuff I think is cute! So! Here we go!!

Recently, I've been missing the sorority life and having reasons to get glammed up, so here are some presh dresses! After writing this blog, I'm lusting for a soiree'!! A girl can dream, I suppose...

    

  

Just give me embellishments and a good ruffle and I'm there! I love being a girl :)

I Love Spontaneous Weekend Adventures!

Every so often, Kacie and I get to the point where we'd be willing to cut off a body part in order to have a nice, juicy steak. So, every so often, we have "Roomie Steak Night" where we go out and grub on some cow. Tonight was a momentous Roomie Steak Night, because we had a third in our party. (For the record and for future reference, you should feel honored to be included in Roomie Steak Night; As a rule, we don't often include others...) Just sayin'. We put on our fat pants and we don't speak. It's glorious.


Anyway, after dinner, we were a bit wound up and we didn't feel like going home. After sitting in the car and and getting serenaded by Scott to the tune of a Hanson song, we decided to go to the Factory-- Kacie and I have always talked about taking pictures in the fountain and tonight, we FINALLY decided to do it...

Much to our dismay, the ONE night that we ACTUALLY go out there, there's no water in the fountain. Booo! But that's not why Kacie is sad...she's doubled over in pain and dismay because she tripped over that pipe (in the SAME spot, no less) at least three different times!! 

It was worth it, though, because she and I FINALLY got our roommate sprocket pic. 

Then, I decided that I wanted to ride my sprocket like a horse...

...and Scott decided to feed it.

The end.

Labor Day, in the park, don't think it was the 4th of July...

We spent a gloriously sunshiney day at Joiner Park picnicking and playing croquet!

Let me introduce you to the teams:

  
                      Red Team: Bobby & Claire       Green Team: Jesse & Whitney          

  

                   

                Orange Team: Richard & Elizabeth     Black Team: Brad and Mitch

 

  Yellow Team: Cory, & Sunni, who's not in the pic     Blue Team: Scott & Myself

 

Scott and I came in second place (without cheating, thankyouverymuchElizabethandRichie!!) and we are fine with that, because first is the worst, and second is the best :) Here he is taking our final stroke:

Plus, Scott has sweet victory dance skills HAHAHA!!

  

Happy Labor Day!!